My favorite part of the approaching weekend is knowing I'm about to have opportunities for quiet again. The weekend symbolizes a time when I've fulfilled the demands of the outside world and I can enjoy being in my own space, spending my moments as I see fit. I need that quiet time to reset; to remind myself of who I am and why I do what I do. And nothing disturbs that reset opportunity like having more obligation cutting into those precious two days. But here's an odd thing I've always found puzzling. I notice people (family, friends, co-workers) look at me strangely when they ask me if I have any plans for my weekend, and I tell them "absolutely nothing at all". It's common for people to have every moment of those two days planned out before the weekend even starts. And typically, they have more things they need to get done than time will allow. Perhaps they think I'm weird, or clueless... or both. This blog entry is about sharing a strange idea I have as to why people seem satisfied filling every moment of their free time with projects and obligations, and why they seem uncomfortable when I try to explain the value of not doing anything at all. Here it goes. Get ready... We enter this world pure and open to everything. We are unconditional love and endless possibility. And other than when those diapers are packing a load, we smell like God just baked cookies, and there's enough for everyone. Then the world steps in and starts adjusting that potentiality; starts shrinking it to fit more acceptable molds. Our parents begin teaching us their personal brand of right and wrong; then our schools, our religions, our politicians and institutions. The same thing happens everywhere in the world, it's just different variations on the theme. Every one of us is the end product of all that social conditioning, no matter how messy and inaccurate that conditioning might be. The best way to keep that structure intact is by constant activity. (On the weekends, everyone's tending to their yards, maintaining their cars, running errands. And even when they think they're getting away from it all, taking that well earned vacation.... they somehow end up in the same place as all the other people getting away from it all, taking their vacations. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. It provides the majority of us a path and purpose that is meaningful enough to justify the lives we live. I just find it odd how many of us come back from our vacations... needing a vacation.) The greatest danger to this structure is quiet. (If you stop for a moment, you run the risk of silencing those pre-recorded voices that are telling you what to do, how to think, what to believe, how to behave. It's entirely possible you might encounter something deep within you that wants you to feel or be someone else. And that could prove detrimental to the structure.) It seems to me that the best way to keep that auto-pilot functioning properly is to keep it constantly engaged. The ego (that socially molded mental structure you think is you) knows the best way to preserve itself is if you are never aware of it to begin with, and the best way to ensure you stay unaware is by keeping the mind engaged at all times. Again, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Our very survival depends on the unconscious mind playing by a set of established rules so our society survives and flourishes; primitive tribal logic expanded to fit the masses. And it needs to be there until we learn how to love and empathize more than fear and hate. But if you find life drains you more than charges you... if you find you need a vacation after that vacation, a little quiet might do you good. It's quite possible that sense of discontent is your inner self whispering to you that it's ready to show you your true potential... your true beauty. Perhaps you're ready for a little inner work. Discovering who you are is like buying a fixer-upper. You've finally made the commitment to go inside this mess of a structure and repair and restore it to its original pristine form. It requires going from room to room, tearing out everything that's outdated and replacing all the fixtures. There will be a lot of junk to remove first before the restoration process can even begin. But this will be a joy when you realize the value of fixing it in the first place. Fall in love with that structure, and see it's true potential. Be willing to dedicate serious time to making it fresh and full of life again. From now on, when people ask you if you have any plans for your weekend, you can happily tell them "I just invested in a fixer-upper. It's going to require a whole lot of work, but I'm confident I can restore it to its beautiful, original condition." Then you can enjoy your quiet weekends, guilt-free. :D On to the new music… A New Song for You to Enjoy: ‘Siren Rising’ This is a gargantuan facelift to the 4th song I ever made, of the same name… back in… sheesh… 2006 I think?! I always loved certain melodies and ideas within the song, but I sucked at making beats and still had limited knowledge of my first cute, little DAW… GarageBand. I kept the MIDI sequences for what are now the bells, and the two instruments creating an echoing melody in the middle bit. Everything else is entirely new. By the way, I decided to drop the whole ‘numbering my songs’ thing. When your 27th song is actually your 4th, and your 26th is actually your 35th, the whole thing just starts getting silly. And honestly, who really cares but me. Am I right? :D Click the image link below to take a listen. (Opens SoundCloud in a separate window.) A Painting Update: (017) ‘Porcelains, Plastics and Glass’ Now we’re up to Fall of 2015, and an Advanced Oils Class I took for fun. This one is a study in warms and cools. Ultramarine Blue, Burnt Sienna and Titanium White, if I recall correctly. The Blue and Sienna mix together to create black. Heavy on Blue makes it cooler; heavy on Sienna makes it warmer. Only 5 more paintings to go and I will finally have my entire back catalog uploaded to my website. That's it for this post. I hope you enjoyed your visit.
Smiles, Justin
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AuthorHello everyone. I'm Justin Mackay. I'm a creative soul, an explorer of life's mysteries, and a big fan of all the beauty in the world. If you're just here for the paintings, then head on over to my Art tab. If you wish to delve deeper into the odd thoughts of a pondering mind, then this is the place for you. Archives
February 2018
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